FOKOF LAGER CREED
I know you're bored. Do not FEAR. You are NOT ALONE. The universe has conspired and you are at the epicentre of its spectacularly complex master plan to get you lit. You have been specifically selected fellow LIGHT WARRIOR. The cosmic fire-forged unity of forces inextricably binding YOU and this FOKOF LAGER together in MAGNIFICENCE makes you the most interesting thing this side of the observable universe.
This is YOUR TIME, you GLORIOUS RASCAL. Now SUCK IT... YOUR MAJESTY.